The Grace of Forgetting

I was remembering this morning some dear friends we knew in another life - or so it seems. I was remembering what wonderful, kind, selfless friends they were to us, and how unworthy I sometimes felt of their friendship. So much of the initiative in our relationship always seemed to come from them. I was busy, jealous of my solitude, needing always to plan ahead rather than do something on the spur of the moment. It gives me a bit of a pang now that they are far away and can never call and say "We're in your neighborhood. Can we stop by in five minutes?" Then I remembered a time when God allowed us to help them out of a financial bind - something I had honestly forgotten. I felt grateful that we had been able to contribute that gift to the friendship, but I found I could not remember the amount, or even much about the occasion, or if it happened only once or more than once. . . . and I was grateful for the grace of forgetting.

God, the Omniscient, the Beginning and End, the Ever Present actually talks a lot about forgetting in the Holy Scriptures. He promises that He will remember our sins no more, through the Apostle Paul he urges us to forget those things which lie behind. He blots things out like the record of transgressions against us, He casts things into the deepest sea, presumably meaning He is not going to consider them any longer. The saying, "out of sight, out of mind" could have come from the mouth of God. God's intentional forgetfulness, if it can be called that, is a wonderful grace.

These days I fret often over difficulties remembering where I parked my car, or where I left my keys. While I feel chagrined and a bit panicky when I cannot remember someone's name - we fifty-somethings all know where this is heading - I realized this morning that forgetting is not always a bad thing. It is good to forget about good deeds we may have had the chance to perform, not to rest upon our laurels. It is even better to forget about offenses or slights we may have endured. It is an amazing blessing to look into the face of someone who has hurt us deeply and not remember the former pain, but only feel the pleasure of the present fellowship. Sometimes it is better to forget than to remember.

Of course there are things which should never be forgotten - the faithfulness of God, the many ways God has led us and provided for us, the calories in the bowl of ice cream I already ate this afternoon. Just as there is a time for every purpose under heaven there are times and occasions for both remembering and forgetting. Wisdom comes in knowing the difference.