You know you've been in Malaysia too long when . . .

Several months ago my son joined a group on Facebook called, You know you've been in Malaysia too long when. . . . . At the time he was hating Malaysia, and it was a good way to vent his feelings! Misery loves company and all that. He has come to terms with his new home, and has even told me the first thing he wants to do when we land in Boston is visit a Malysian restaurant he's heard of. Sounds to me like he's been here too long.

A few days ago as I was navigating the narrow corridor that passes for a street in our neighborhood of shops I realized that I, too, may have been in Malaysia too long. I still find driving here frustrating, but no longer surprising. I never remind any of my children not to splash water on the bathroom floors, in fact, I encourage it. I can't remember what fresh milk tastes like, and I don't like ice in my drinking water anymore.

It seems that so much of adjusting to a new culture involves adjusting one's expectations. When people or places or events are far from what we expect, we easily become disillusioned, discouraged, offended or even hostile. Somedays it feels like nothing is right - and that's a pretty fair assessment if we are using the wrong yardstick. Once we know what to expect, life becomes easier, but that does take time. You have to encounter a situation or an attitude or a food enough times to know what it is, and to avoid being disappointed because it is not what you expected it to be.

During this time of adjusting our expectations, we have been reading a lot of Bill Bryson's essays. We have found him to be the perfect companion, since so much of his writing involves his impressions of cultures foreign to him - a mixture of appreciation and mockery into which we find ouselves often slipping. Plus, he hails from Hanover, NH, just down the road a piece from our home town. When he mentions the Four Aces Diner, we know just what he talking about. One of my favorite observations of his is that every culture has things they do very well, perhaps better than anyone else, and then things they just don't get, and probably never will. Just accepting that simple truth goes a long way toward making peace with a foreign culture.

With that in mind, I've compiled my own list of indicators that You may have been in Malaysia too long. . .

• you no longer expect drivers to stop at the stop sign
  
• you can remember which side of the road you belong on even when there are cars coming toward you in both lanes
  
• you know that one way streets don't really mean one way, and you drive in whatever direction you need to
  
• you think of smog as a viable alternative to sunscreen
  
• you know there are two ways to write the date, but you can't remember which way is used in the US and which in Malaysia
  
• you are not shocked to look down at your food and see it looking back at you
  
• you refer to ringitt as dollars
  
• you can navigate a squatty potty with impunity
  
• you can't imagine how people drive when the steering wheel is on the left
  
• you remember to pick up the toilet paper before you enter the stall
  
• you can't figure out why Americans think all Chinese look alike
  
• you don't necessarily expect a shower stall - a shower head sticking out of the wall somewhere between the sink and toilet works just fine
  
• you are tempted to say "la" at the end of certain words
  
• mamak (local Malay/Indian fusion cuisine) food feels like comfort food
  
• 100 Plus is your soft drink of choice
  
• you can't remember why pirated movies are bad because they are obviously so good
  
• you actually consider double-parking when you have a short errand to run
  
• you not only understand the signs that ask you not to stand on the toilet seats, you appreciate them and hope people heed them